The Strange Death of Liberal America

“Liberalism is a dead philosophy,” pronounced Michael Medved on a recent broadcast.

Mr. Medved did not eulogize over Liberalism’s death; in fact, his tone was somewhat triumphant. Thus, I surmised that the death of Liberalism was a good thing.

But over the weekend, I read a speech given by Eugene Debs in 1904. He seemed to have drawn a similar conclusion about Capitalism:

Capitalism is dying, and its extremities are already decomposing. The blotches on the surface show that the blood no longer circulates. The time is near when the cadaver will have to be removed and the atmosphere purified. (The Eugene V. Debs Reader: Socialism and the Class Struggle, William A. Pelz, ed., p. 67)

But, looking around me, I see that neither Liberalism nor Capitalism has died. These words still seem to dominate debates on political economy. They crawl their way into the graveyard of public debate. Liberal is a term of derision (and to some, a mental disorder). Capitalist is a term of condemnation that questions the presence of one’s soul.

I must disagree with both Michael Medved and Eugene Debs. It seems to me that both Liberalism and Capitalism still live and thrive.

Unless…

Of course! How could I have been so blind? Liberalism and Capitalism are not dead! They are the undead that lurk in the shadows of darkness!

Philosophies that have recently died are returning to life and committing acts of intellectual murder. After a widespread investigation of talk radio, op-eds, and manifestos, I have concluded that the unburied dead have been returning to life and seeking human victims.

But what kind of undead are they? Are they zombies? Are they vampires? Is Liberalism an unidentified army of mindless assassins, zombies guided by a master plan? Does Capitalism feed on the souls of the living, seeking complete domination of the earth?

This is the debate we should be having!

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