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Train Tunes

“Do you know what this train really needs?”

Rick interrupts my morning nap with another one of his ideas for improving the quality of his commute.

“Pillows?” I ask, adjusting my rolled-up scarf as I lean my head against the window.

“No, music! They should play some light background music over the train’s PA system. That would make the ride more soothing.”

The train passes over a rough switch and  my head bangs against the window. I give up on trying to get any sleep this morning, and look at Rick.

He can’t be serious.

“Yeah, it’s a great idea,” he explains. It would help drown out all the chatter, the annoying cell phones, and the clattering of the rails. Besides, it would prevent people from listening in on my conversations.”

He is serious. I point out the flaws in his plan.

“Dude, think about it. First, the only kind of music that would drown out the noise would be Spinal Tap turned up to 11 on the amp. Second, the ringtones are background music. I mean, I love listening to The Black Eyed Peas’ song ‘My Humps’ in the morning. It’s the perfect wake up song. And the percussive beat of the train tap dancing along the rails completes the ensemble. It’s avante-garde experimental jazz, man.”

He rolls his eyes.

“Besides,” I finally tell him, “Nobody listens in on your conversations. Frankly, you’re not that interesting.”

How would you improve your commute? Share your ideas by clicking on the Comment button below.


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